Monday, January 25, 2010

Giles is batshit-fucking insane

I've been playing music in bands since I was 16. I've grown up jamming with all sorts of people from similar to varied backgrounds. The most memorable bits of the journey have always been the personalities of the people I'm playing music with.

When you join a band, you become part of a fraternity, a gang, you are forced to spend time with people you wouldn't normally find in your social circle. Sometimes the only thing you have in common with them is music. During this time, you will discover that most people who join a band are by normal standards, pretty fucking insane.

This is not always a bad thing. Rock'n'roll history is littered with examples of famously insane but outrageously talented musicians like Keith Moon, Syd Barrett and Keith Richards. Who doesn't love a good character?

What has been scary for me, is seeing people, who I consider to be fairly normal by all accounts, slowly unravel. I see their facade of mental health crumble, bit by bit, slowly revealing glimpses of their thorough insanity.

Take for example, the newest member of our band, our drummer Giles. By all accounts, Giles appears to be a fairly normal guy. He's jovial, really polite and gets along with everyone. He's genuinely making an effort to fit in with the boys. I really like Giles.

But I'm pretty sure he's a serial killer.

Take for e.g. the following 100% REAL SMS exchange I had with him the other day.

Me: Guys we're having band practice today at 7:30, see u there

Giles: Do u want me to get u nething like cheese or glass or may b some wood?

Me: Huh? What the fuck?

Giles: Don't u know wood is become a drink now.

I have gone over this conversation many times. I confronted Giles about it. He laughed. He claims that there is a soft drink out there called "Wood", which is what he was offering me. If in fact, there is a soft drink called "Wood" out there please, loyal blog followers, inform me.

I have also tried to hypothesize the many scenarious where this conversation might look to be less insane. I started thinking, "Well I do like cheese, most people do, so maybe he was just offering me some of his cheese". This is pretty random, but not entirely insane. Maybe there actually IS a soft drink called "Wood". And maybe he was offering me a glass. So that I could drink this delightfully named beverage. If you consider each of these things in isolation, it doesn't seem so bad. I'm tempted to give him the benefit of the doubt. But as I mentioned earlier, when I gave him the chance to explain himself, all he did was laugh. It wasn't just a normal laugh. It was the laugh of a fat kid who had found the cake.

I''m willing to put up with this for now, because he's a damn fine drummer. But I feel it's only a matter of time before Giles shows up to practice dressed in a panda suit, takes a shit inside his bass drum and then murders us all.

9 Comments:

Anonymous zf said...

hahahah! welcome back to the blog!

5:59 PM  
Anonymous オテモヤン said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

7:01 AM  
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3:14 PM  
Blogger Moonie said...

haha. i swear you make me laugh out loud. i heart you.

3:32 AM  
Blogger Moonie said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

3:33 AM  
Anonymous Laillaaaa ^^ said...

Listen, why do these random people keep leaving these random comments? It must be really disappointing, when you're like "Oh! So many comments!" but then you see that they're all just random people talking about Xrummer, whatever on God's green Earth THAT may be. =/
I digress.
I would like to meet this Giles, whose name I know not how to pronounce.

10:35 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hilarious

6:52 PM  
Blogger SnowBlind Jim said...

Honeslty, OBA, stay away from this man. Move the mic as far away from the drums as is possible. Or if it's not. Keep a shovel at hand. You never know when you might need it.
Bottomline. Giles doesn't sound like Barney. =D

11:16 PM  
Anonymous Asad said...

well no syd barrett was actually pretty shit as a bassist but he was a rockstar so who cares. _\m/

9:48 PM  

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