So recently I wrote what I thought was a fairly innocuous article regarding "burgers". If you aren't familiar with the term, a "burger" is a mildly derogatory term for a person who is Pakistani but acts Western, i.e. listens to only western music, wears only western clothes, watches only English movies and speaks only in English, usually with a heavy American accent. Anything labelled "burger" in Pakistan is deemed to lack credibility because it/he/she is "out of touch' with the "masses" and "elitist". With the growth of the Internet and greater exposure average Pakistanis have to the world, this culture gap seems to be closing.
I realize that I would be a poster child for the so called "burger" section of society, and I have embraced this label. I thought it would be pretty funny to write an article from the point of view as a burger being part of a persecuted minority. Now as most of you smart people know, this is an obviously ridiculous premise. So I decided to have some fun with it mostly poking fun at myself and people I know.
Here's the article
As of the time of this writing, it now has 83 comments
Holy fucking shit. What is wrong with people?
You mean to tell me that my dumbass article about BURGERS AND MAILAS got 8 times more comments than Talat Hussain's FIRST HAND ACCOUNT OF BEING ON THE FLOTILLA where he GOT SHOT AT BY ISRAELI FUCKING COMMANDOS (I hereby will refer to Talat Hussain as "Flot-Zilla" from now on).
I sincerely thought I would get a couple of chuckles and the usual stupid comments from the readers who didn't get the joke. And sure it's the internet, people are born to be mean on it. But 83 comments? Its a tsunami of stupidity. Go ahead and read them, it'll make your head explode.
Sure I get some comments from people who appreciated the article for what it was, a light, brainless bit of fun. Sure some people just thought it was plain boring and stupid. Fair enough.
But MOST people decided it was the fucking coming of the Antichrist, accusing me of trying to incite class divide, being elitist, hating Pakistan, trying to keep the common man down, starting a war against Urdu etc.
Then there's people who claim to know me...."I used to think you were an OK guy OBA...until I read this article.....". What?? How did you think I was an OK guy? Because you read a bunch of dick jokes on my blog?
Then there's this gem
"the differenciation your trying to create is really making people like you not fit for this country,you are living in a bubble playing guitar in a studio or writing a blog sitting in your little box where you are unaware of the reality of 99.9999 percent"
Yes. Because real, patriotic musicians record music in a fucking wheat field using a water buffalo to do backing vocals. And yes, I stupidly write a blog in my little box, when I should be out, on the streets of Karachi with THE REAL PEOPLE dancing in my dhoti singing "Mein Bhi Pakistan Hoon" with my londa friends as we put our dicks in a plate of biryani.
I suppose I shouldn't complain because the article got a lot of traffic. But it's insane to see how people are getting so worked up over something as trivial as this. Yes I realize I'm a lightning rod for criticism (What?? A musician? Who thinks he's a writer? Well fuck him!!) but dude....?? People need to chill the fuck out.