Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Showdown With Ali Zafar

As many of you have been following, Ali Zafar and I have been feuding over the internet for the past couple of months or so, creating an epic battle of Kanye vs 50 Cent proportions. By feud I mean I have been posting ridiculous rumours about him and he has been well..pretty nice actually.

But all this was about to change.

I was in Lahore this past weekend for a friends wedding and on my flight back to Karachi, who should I encounter at the departure gate? None other than my nemesis




How it happened:

Upon seeing Ali Zafar I shouted..."Yo! Choot ass! I hear you been talking shit about me?!"

Ali Zafar then responded "Aunty Disco Bitch! I am going to rape you!"

I dropped my luggage and then ran towards him, while he dropped his teddy bear and hustled towards me delicately on his tippy toes. Face to face, we angrily confronted each other.

Ali Zafar: "Before this day is over, I am going to make you taste my wrath"
Me: "Before this day is over, I am going to make you taste my balls".

Then I wrestled him to the ground and beat him with my shoe while airport security cheered on.

How it really happened:

I was sitting at the departure gate when I saw a dude with a guitar case briskly walking towards the boarding are, and recognised him as Ali Zafar. Ali turned around and looked at me, and kinda cocked his head to the side and gave me a look of recognition. Then I got up to meet him, feeling slightly awkward, keeping in mind that I had previously accused him of several different types of STD's in my blog. So I walked up to him and gave him a man-hug then he looked at me and sincerely asked, "Why you got a problem with me bro?"
To which I sheepishly replied, "I dunno, I guess cuz' I thought you had a problem with me"
Ali looked hurt and said, "No man, why would I have a problem with you? I love you man..."
I smiled back, and choking back tears said "I love you!"

Then we embraced in a passionate lip-lock and fell the to ground while airport security cheered on.

OK this is what really happened

So Ali and I met at the airport departure lounge and I gotta say, the guy is a complete gentleman. He was on his way to Karachi for Coke Studio and seemed genuinely excited about the whole thing. He mentioned that he'd heard our stuff and was really encouraging telling me to stick with it, because we'd all been through rejections and bad recordings. I really appreciated it and he really made me feel like I was part of this music industry fraternity.

It is also worth mentioning that I ran into Ali Noor the same weekend at a restaurant ( I guess Lahore really is pretty tiny) and he too was really encouraging and welcoming and seemed genuinely interested in what was going on with ADP. I know I've got a long way to go before I get to the level of these guys, but it was really nice to be acknowledged by people you look up to.

Both Ali Noor and Zafar are coming to Karachi to be a part of Coke Studio, along with our friends Zeb and Haniya. I guess I'm over my dissappointment at not making it this time, but I wish them all the best time in my city and I really am looking forward to seeing how it turns out. It sounds crazy exciting.

Does this mean I have to stop posting rumours about Ali Zafar on my blog? Well I thought about this, I don't think he'll mind, he's been an awfully good sport about this fake feud so far. But it is always going to be a little awkward meeting a guy who you have accused of sexual deviation on a public forum.


Blogger JDèé said...


1:08 PM  
Blogger KM said...

sometimes i love your posts.
the build up was pure genius!
much laughter ensued.

1:27 PM  
Blogger Ali said...


And good luck with the music man :)

2:28 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Rofl kind of funny! The first two versions were kick-ass and had me in splits!

3:35 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


6:37 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I liked the first two versions better:)

7:43 PM  
Blogger Aziza said...

The second scenario was so much more preferable.

7:57 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Gahahahahahaha! xDDDD

8:08 PM  
Blogger Ambreen Haider said...

i have to admit. i didnt think very highly of your band when i heard it. but you guys have an element. certai moments and notes that are quite amazing. as for this: =D if you aint goona do it someone else surely will =D why elt someone else enjoy what yu;'re brilliant at? =D

my distaste for your music aside: wish you all the best.

10:24 PM  
Blogger Ali. said...


2:21 AM  
Blogger Spaz Kumari said...

i don't know who ali zafar is, and i don't know you either. But i'm going to blogroll you.

So is there anywhere that an impoverished indian undergrad in a residential university in the rajasthani desert might get hold of some of your songs? youtube is out of the question, my university blocks youtube.

thank you. :)

11:20 AM  
Blogger Sennaz said...

hahaha i almost believed the second scenario:D

2:11 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"and fell the to ground"

i am sure you mean and fell TO THE ground.

8:09 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hilarious! Haha!

There's always google. Just type in download blah blah by blah blah and you're set. Also, you can also search for youtube proxies, which allow you to view youtube. e.g. (beware of their ads and popups though)

9:48 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

roflmfao. "security gaurds cheering us on" hahahha roflmfao!

5:06 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hahahahaha... never have i found a blog more worth reading!!!... apart from your romantic fantasy with ali zafar.. a tiny bit disturbing....but, i applaud you!!!!!

1:19 AM  
Blogger Zakintosh said...

Glad I found my way here. Bloody hilarious. Suggest you keep the contents clean (i.e. no mention of Ali Azmat or Adnan Sami Khan, pleez!)

ADP really rocks!

And thanks for all that you've done for T2F ...

11:00 PM  
Blogger Majaz said...

WHAT?!?! You made up!??!

Does that mean you won't be fun anymore?

Please pick someone else now. Like.. what's that dame's name.. Rbiya Peerzada or some lady?

6:30 PM  
Anonymous madeeha syed said...


5:00 PM  
Anonymous Iqra said...

oh man, the second scenario sounded so awesome. ive totally been rooting for you guys.

11:57 PM  
Anonymous Nida Khalid said...


this was AMAZINNNGGG........

really good with the words

2:08 AM  

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