Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Top Ten Things I Can Do Without in 2007

10. People who ask you “Mind if I smoke?” and then look at you all weird when you say "yes".

9. People who hear the name “Aunty Disco Project” and then ask “Which one of you is the Aunty” and then chuckle as I beat them with sticks.

8.Fat people travelling next you. I know it’s really insensitive of me, but when some fat dude is travelling on a plane in the seat next to, I feel as if I am being slowly invaded. Plus last time, this one dude was so fat, I think I lost my iPod in him.

7.People who do not laugh when I sing “Yasir! Why don’t you s*** my balls”

6. Hot people who can’t hold a conversation. E.g.
Me: So…what do you think of the political situation in Northwestern Chichawatni?
Hot Babe: Huh?
Me: Eat shit and die.

5. Goats. They are evil satanic creatures who do nothing all day except hump and shit tiny impeccably formed spheres. No wonder we massacre their asses every year.

4. People who blame everything on wedding season.
“Oh I’m sorry we couldn’t meet up, my cousin is getting married”
“Sorry, I went to a wedding and ate the prawns and now I’m shitting like a Japanese Bullet Train”
“Decided to bomb Sialkot, fuckin… wedding season…”

3. Tailors who are supposed to take my pant measurements but end up molesting me instead. I mean come on, they should at least buy me dinner first.

2. Annie. No wait, I love Annie. In fact I’m a Fan-nie. (due credit to Omar Khalid for this joke.)

And the no.1 thing I can do without this YEAR is ……(read below)



Blogger KM said...

i'm with you on the bakra's.and you know

i can totally live without men who think the reason you're still single is because you're waiting fo them.

the khizzy after reading how pathetic you've had it, is quite cheered up.

7:53 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

hah - that's amusing! yo u finally started crediting jokes! awesome! :)

8:26 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

who's annie?

8:27 PM  
Blogger Ahsan said...

annie is the person who may or may not be ok.

sorry for the michael jackson reference. oba stop whining about bad reviews. and pls dont give me any shit about excuses centered on the marriage season; as i recall, you refused to meet anyone and everyone when your sister was getting married. or maybe that was just a convenient way to avoid me. if it was, you're a jackass.

8:52 AM  
Anonymous Annie said...

okay, so this might be two years too late but I could do without the stupid,stupid,never-ending Annie jokes....AAArgh!

If I ever get my hands on her, that shall be the end of that croaking diva of pottyland, I tell you!

5:01 PM  

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